While some people may argue that online friends are just as effective as in-person friends, many others say that the people you meet online only give a fragment of themselves. You’re unable to experience them fully and, therefore, cannot determine whether or not they’re worth your time. So, can your online friendships really develop into solid, lasting relationships? These tips will help you make that determination.
What is a real friend?
A real friend is someone it feels good to be around—someone with whom you feel comfortable being yourself. A person you can trust, who treats you with respect, has your best interests at heart, and on whom you can rely. Real friendships offer support, help you progress mentally, improve your quality of life, provide unconditional love and honesty, and promote self-confidence.
Can an online friend be a real friend?
Based on the definition of a real friend above, the answer is yes. Believe it or not, there are even times when the bond with online friends goes a lot deeper than that with in-person friends. Today’s technology enables you to video chat with friends with ease from anywhere around the world, making it that much easier to develop that lasting bond.
Which online friends can become real friends?
Friendships take time to develop. You don’t want to waste time trying to get to know someone who doesn’t show genuine interest in being your friend. Focus only on those about whom you are curious and who ask you questions about your interests and your life. Be attentive to the words they speak. Hearing their stories about various things and people in their lives will give you an idea of the sort of person they are. You will definitely be able to judge whether they are loyal or not.
But how do you know if your online friend really cares about you? You can never be totally sure, but the way they speak to you, how often they speak to you, the things you speak about, and how much they’re there for you can help you gauge it. Follow your instincts—if something feels off, there’s probably a good reason.
Remember, people aren’t always who they claim to be, so before you pursue any deeper friendship, you first need to look into your friend’s background. Explore their social media profiles and see how they interact with their followers and friends. Do you have any friends in common? Contact them and see if they’ve ever met in person. Do a Google search to see if they appear anywhere else on the internet. If you have their phone number, enter it in the PhoneHistory search field to cross-reference the information you find there with everything else you’ve found.
How to turn online friends into real friends
You probably have friends you can call to hang out with, but that leaves more to be desired. You need deep friendships with people who support and understand you, who you can trust, and with whom you can share major life events. Online would be the perfect place to meet friends quickly. Here’s how you can turn your online friends into real ones.
Open up to people
When two people know about each other’s personal lives, they often feel like they know each other well. When you’re having a conversation, it’s cool to gradually shift toward talking about more personal stuff. This is an excellent way to quickly become close. Be careful, though. If you notice that the other person seems to be keeping away from certain topics or is not asking questions, don’t push. Let them do it in their own time. You want balanced conversations—both of you equally sharing information and asking questions.
Give your undivided attention
Whatever you choose to do together, ensure that you give it your undivided attention. That will make it easier for your friend to open up to you, and believe it or not, it can make your time together a lot more enjoyable. Checking your phone all the time can be very distracting, and it also limits the time you actually spend together.
Build trust
Demonstrate your trustworthiness as well as how much you trust your friend. Showing that you can be trusted with simple things like being early and giving advance notice at times when you’re late builds trust more than you may expect. Remember, trust is a two-way street, so you also need to ask your friend for help, show some vulnerability, or tell them something private—take small steps that you’re comfortable with.
Build a shared past together
When you have really close friends, you end up creating memories together. It’s like you build this whole shared history that you can look back on. Being there for each other through significant moments enables you to create your own little treasure trove of memories, inside jokes, and special spots. Make some amazing memories by spending time together!
Talking about things you’ve done together, especially the fun experiences, creates a sense of closeness. While it’s important to be there for your friends during their important life events, it’s equally important to support them during the tough times too, so check in on them when they’re sick or down.
Devote time to your friends
These days, everyone is so busy with various aspects of their lives that they find it difficult to find the time that may be required to get to know someone better. To make it easier, you can try doing things together that you both already enjoy. Having shared interests is what makes friendships so great, don’t you think? Leverage them to create memorable moments.
Meet face-to-face
Once you’ve had a good amount of back-and-forth and you’re feeling at ease, you can consider meeting face-to-face. But be sure to pick a public space that’s fairly busy and where you feel comfortable. If you’re concerned about your friend knowing where you live, it might be a good idea to avoid meeting too close to your home. But you also don’t want to meet someone for the first time in an unfamiliar part of town. The ideal place would be one that you’ve been to several times but don’t frequent, so that you won’t have to worry about running into the person again if things don’t work out.
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